Day 32 & 33 - "The Potter & The Clay"

Hello to all of our friends, family and adoptive families who we know from other blogs who continue to pray for, encourage and support the Taylor family as we continue following God's plan for us all.  Being away from home is very hard to endure for all of us and your kind words help sustain us during a difficult and trying process. 

It has been so long since Angelia and I have experienced anything that relates to home.  We certainly miss the modern conveniences of home (such as a stand-up shower, pans & kitchen utensils, the ability to read a label on the food we are preparing) but we are truly blessed to be where we are and to have what we have.  Still, my heart bends for my children who are an encouragement to us.  They have the courage and joyful spirits to leave the only thing they know of a home life for a country, culture and family that is far away from here and much different.  Angelia and I have discussed that we feel as though we all have been a family for much longer than just the time we have been together here in Ukraine.  I am thankful to God that He has done a work in all of us to make us feel this way.

Thursday was Angelia's birthday!  I could never be able to explain how special Angelia is to me.  She has been in my life for over 20 years and I have certainly gotten the better end of the deal.  :-)  Anna has been planning a covert birthday suprise for Angelia for the previous 4 or 5 days.  :-)  While Angelia was taking an afternoon nap a few days ago, Anna brought me into the room where she and Charlie had been playing to show me that they had already made Angelia a birthday card.  Also, she proceeded to tell me (in our "neither of us speak the other language very well so we use hand signals" kind of way) that she wanted to go to the store on the evening before Angelia's birthday to buy her some chocolate as a gift.  Anna then showed me that when she  left Simferopol about a month ago to come back for the adoption process, the person there gave her $50 Hyrivna (Ukraine money, with 50 being equivalent to about $6 U.S. dollars).  Anna has kept this money for almost a month and now she wanted to use it to buy Angelia a birthday present.  I am proud of my daughter!  We managed to surprise Angelia as she came out of getting a shower / dressing for the day with a small jewelry box (to place on her nightstand and home so she will have a place to put her rings each night when she pulls them off) and a matching photo album.  When Anna, Charlie and I purchased the photo album, I told them that Angelia would put a picture of them in it; to which Anna replied "Nahhhh".  When Angelia unwrapped it, she said exactly what I knew she would "I love it... I will put a picture of Anna and Charlie in it".  What can I say, I know my wife.  :-).  Turned out that another kid-friendly 3-D movie opened up on Angelia's birthday so we treated her to an afternoon at the movies too.  All in all, it was a great birthday and family time together.

Earlier in the week, we were able to make plans with my friend Dima to spend today (Friday) ministering to the orphanage where our children have lived for so long.  We visited the "Metro" (Ukraine equivalent to Sam's Club) and purchased bulk laundry detergent, notebooks, a case of apples, a case of bananas and a case of ramen noodles.  We also managed to sneak in a couple bags of "blow pops" that we brought from America.  Purchasing the laundry detergent was pretty comical.  I wanted to pick out the right kind of detergent so I asked Anna, "How did you do laundry in the orphanage?" to which she replied through our interpreter Dima, "we put dirty clothes in one basket and picked up our clean clothes out of a different basket".  Obviously, someone at the orphanage did the laundry for all the kids.  Upon learning this, Angelia quickly commented to me, "Hmmm.... their laundry gets done just like yours does.".  (Mental note to self - teach kids how to use laundry machines when I get back home and plan for all of us to use them liberally.  LOL!) 

We spent about and hour and a half at the orphanage today.  We were able to speak privately with the director to find out more about Anna & Charlie's family history.  I won't share the details we learned but suffice it to say that both of our children have endured very difficult lives before being placed in the orphanage.  The orphanage where they lived and the staff there have managed to care for Anna and Charlie in such a way that they have joyful spirits and know that it is possible for adults to love them and care for their needs.  I know for sure that the orphanage director's heart breaks for the children who come there and she works very hard to care for them all.  Anna and Charlie will be the first children from this orphanage to ever be adopted by an international family and only the second set of children to be adopted at all since the orphanage opened about 11 years ago. 

I did manage to spend about 30 minutes playing soccer and kidding around with all the kids of the orphanage.  Having been to this orphanage several times, we know many of the kids there by name and it is so great to see them, spend time with them and just make them smile.  We will do our best to visit the orphanage one last time before we leave for America so that Anna and Charlie can say goodbye to their friends and what they have called home.  I can see in the eyes of Anna's older girl friends that they are happy for her.  But at the same time, you can just sense that they too long for a family of their own.  It is a sad realization to know that many of these children will never have a family, that they will be abandoned to a cruel world, and that they will succomb to the same poverty, alcoholism and desperation that caused many of them to become orphans.  It is a vicious cycle.  The orphanage director summed it up very well during our court hearing when she told the judge and jury "you can put in all the new TV's and computers you want but these things don't supply what these children need the most....families of their own!"

The only other thing worth sharing is that yesterday was probably the most difficult day I have faced so far in regards to my being a parent.  It was difficult because I recognized that I had been giving my children too many instructions and correcting them too much over minor things to the point where they no longer understood my expectations.  All of my mistakes led to an upset of our spirits and our family dynamic.  As we put the kids to bed, I did my best to let them know that I love them but I think they sensed the struggle I was experiencing because of my mistakes.  Angelia and I spent some time reading Scripture together and I was reminded that, in my relationship with my Heavenly Father, it is written that "He is the potter and I am the clay".  Just last Saturday, I watched a man working clay to make some beautiful pottery.  Some observations I recall about what I saw are:  (1) The clay needed to remain pliable so that he could shape it; if the clay were to be too dry or rigid then he wouldn't be able to smooth it out.  (2) He had to use gentle but firm pressure to shape the clay; too gentle and no change would occur, too firm and it would collapse back into what it was when he began - a ball of clay.  (3)  Tools were sometimes needed; these tools were used to form the most delicate and beautiful attributes of the finished piece.  I think that sums up my lesson today from Scripture about being a godly parent.  :-)  I spent some time this morning having fun with the kids.  I also took the time to make sure they understood just a couple of things that were important regarding mine and Angelia's wishes for their behavior.  All in all, today was a great day for all of us and I am so thankful that God helped me and taught me from His word.  My prayer is that I will remain receptive to God as He continues doing so.

Regarding the adoption process, we are on track to get court documents and birth certificates on Monday and we hope to be able to estimate by the middle of next week what a travel date for home will be.  Thank you all for your continued prayers, love and encouragement.